


Isaiah 34:14

by GleeCastOST



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28235538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleeCastOST/pseuds/GleeCastOST
Summary: Lilith's past and her journey to the OCS is a storied one. When Ava comes into the picture, she has to set her assumptions and expectations aside - for the greater good. Will she (and her team) emerge triumphant? Or will everything that built her into the woman she is, tear her apart instead?
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva, Sister Camila/Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 62





	1. Isaiah 34:14

**Author's Note:**

> three wips at once? what have i become? i feel like @spacewritermonkey

_Isaiah 34:14 - Wildcats will meet hyenas, the goat demon will call to his friends, and there Lilith will lurk and find her resting place._

\-----

There was a time, a time that Lilith vaguely remembered, where her life wasn’t shaped by the OCS. An odd clue here or there could have alerted Lilith to the inherent differentness, but she was young. Everything she experienced, in her perception, was the norm. She had no way of knowing that most people’s families didn’t spend nearly every day in church. They also didn’t have entire rooms in their homes dedicated to storing ancient biblical texts, nor a wide array of weapons. 

Even now, more than a decade later, she remembered the evening that separated her life from that of her peers. From that which was considered normal. It had been a picturesque evening, in late summer, one of those days that’s bright forever. When the meaning of time seems to loosen and blinding rays of sunlight get caught in the tall grass. She’d been playing, with a friend from school, when her inherent differentness became clear. 

“How come you’re not going to the school in town? Her friend had asked, as the sun sank below the hills, yet still seemed to provide a tremendous amount of light. 

“I wanted to…” Lilith began, which wasn’t a lie. She had several friends, all of whom were attending school together. This year, Lilith wouldn’t be joining them. Her parents hadn’t explained many of the details yet, which she would later learn was for a good reason. 

“But?” Her friend prompted, clearly not satisfied with Lilith’s answer. 

“My parents have another school in mind.” Lilith pulled a few blades of grass from the ground. Even then, before she truly knew how much would change, she could tell that her carefree days of youth were going to come to an early end. “A religious school.” She added, with more emotion than intended behind her words. 

“Ew.” Her friend scoffed. Lilith didn’t entirely blame her. 

“It’s a good school, apparently.” Lilith was doing a poor job of hiding her nerves. She didn’t like the idea of going away to school and having to stay there, it was an intimidating prospect for a thirteen year old. “An old one, too. A lot of my family members went there.” 

“It doesn’t sound good. It sounds awful. Do you know when you’ll be back?”

“I’ll come visit during all the holidays. I promise.” Lilith smiled, as the warm sun caressed her already sunburnt face. This was a lie, of course, though she didn’t know it at the time. It was amazing how quickly the OCS and it’s responsibilities absorbed her life - even with how reluctant she’d been at the time.

It was almost completely dark by the time Lilith returned home. Her parent’s estate was massive, with several additional buildings dotted around the property. The warm smell of food was welcoming, doubly so after a long day of being outside. Fatigue soaked through her muscles and her lungs felt slightly burned out after running around. It’d been a fun day, all things considered, one of the last she’d have for awhile. 

“Lilith.” Her father greeted her coldly, though he was never warm. “Nice of you to join us.” He gestured to her seat at the table. There was a plate there, already full of food. 

“Sorry…” Lilith didn’t bother offering an excuse or trying to defend herself. Instead, she sat down and hung her head in silence. 

“Are you packed for tomorrow?” Her mother asked, with a touch more warmth.

“Mostly…” Another lie. Lilith was more than reluctant to pack because she was more than reluctant to go. Unlike most OCS recruits, she’d visited Cat’s Cradle a few times in her youth. She found the building, and the organisation it housed, imposing. And intimidating. All her family members who’d been members, those that were still alive at least, were hard. In Lilith’s young perception, it seemed like the OCS chewed women up and spit out hard, emotionless shells. She didn’t want that to be her future. 

“Make sure you finish it tonight.” Her father’s words were slightly sharp. Had she been more mature, she might have realised that he was harbouring nervousness of his own. “It’s always best to start with a good impression. Especially if you want to be our family’s seventh halo bearer.” 

“What’s a halo bearer?” Lilith asked. She’d heard whispers, of familial conversations she’d eavesdropped on, when everyone supposed she was long asleep. 

“It’s…” Her mother paused, unsure of how to continue. “Well, you’ll be taught when you get there.”

“No need to beat around the bush. Lilith is a legacy member. Going in already knowing will give her another edge.” Her father interjected, before turning his attention to Lilith. “You’ll learn the full histories while you’re away. But the halo is an incredibly powerful religious artifact. An angel’s halo.” 

“But now it's a weapon?” 

“Not exactly. It’s implanted into the back of a sister warrior.” He took a deep breath. “Many in our familial line have been given such an honour. It is your mother’s and my hope that you are worthy of the same honour.”

“Implanted?” Lilith’s disbelief couldn’t have been more obvious. “Doesn’t that hurt?” 

“Perhaps, but it affords the warrior nun great power. Divine power.” Her father’s answer dripped with excitement. 

“What if I didn’t want that kind of power?” Lilith was scared to ask, but she was only a kid. She was already reeling at the thought of being sent away and now her parents wanted her to take on some supernatural-sounding burden? 

“Nonsense!” Her mother looked as if she would cry. “It’s in your blood. You’ll do great once you get there. Sure, you’re going to be a bit younger than most of the new recruits, but you are already a black belt in two disciplines and your theological studies are going well. You’ll fit right in.” 

“I’m going to go finish packing.” Lilith whispered, excusing herself from the table. She’d barely eaten, but her parents’ words made her feel sicker than she could cope with. 

She spent her last night at home in tears. It was odd, in a way. Lilith had never felt particularly attached to this home, this room, or any of it. Yet, when confronted with leaving, she clung to the familiar with a ferocious grip. Perhaps this was normal, Lilith decided, as she paced around her childhood bedroom. She didn’t even know what to bring, what she’d be allowed to keep. Most of the time, she would be made to wear traditional religious clothing, or training gear. Thus, most of her outfits were out of the question. 

A bible wouldn’t be a bad idea, Lilith reasoned, gently placing her personal copy into her bag. She’d had it since she first learned to read and it was well worn, with notes in the margins and several dog eared pages. A few other comfort items found their way into her bag, but it was still relatively empty when she left the next morning. 

Arriving at the OCS was exactly how she’d expected it to be. That is to say, not good. Lilith hadn’t hit her growth spurt yet, so not only was she shorter than the other sisters, but thin too. It made her feel even more like a child than she already did. Crying as her parents left, of course, did little to help that feeling. 

A nun, whom Lilith automatically assumed must be in charge, stood beside her. She had an air of authority and a terrifying scar down her face to match. Sharply, Lilith wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“I’m Mother Superion.” The older nun told her, extending a hand for Lilith to shake. She did so solemnly, trying to seem older than she was. 

“I’m Lilith.” 

“I know.” Mother Superion gestured to the building. “Your family has quite a reputation. Why don’t you follow me? We’ll get you some training clothes and I’ll show you to your room.” Lilith followed her into the building without comment, as Mother Superion strode along surprisingly fast for someone with a cane. Morbidly, Lilith couldn’t help but wonder what happened to her. 

After a convoluted journey through a series of cold, stone corridors, they stopped in front of an unmarked door. “This is your room.” Mother Superion told her, while twisting the handle and letting Lilith inside. The room was bare, but the window had a great view of the courtyard and the city beyond it. When the days were clear, she could see the ocean. 

“Thank you.” Lilith nodded. Her emotions were overwhelming, but she wanted to be polite. Later, in private, she could cry as much as she wanted to.

“Most of the other sisters decorate their rooms.” Mother Superion added from the doorway. “You’re free to do so, within reason.” 

“Alright.” Lilith replied quietly.

“And I’ll be sure to send somebody up soon, to help get you settled in and show you around.” 

“Thank you.” Lilith repeated, unsure of what else to say. 

\-----

With a sharp exhale, Lilith returned from the vivid memory. She was sitting on her bed, though the room looked almost exactly as it had several years ago. It would have almost been funny, if it weren’t quite sad. A much darker realisation hit her then, one she would have been happier to ignore. Unlike the room, she’d changed so dramatically, she was almost unrecognisable. This wasn’t just a metaphor, either, as part of Lilith’s transformation had been accented by her newly grey hair. It would be naïve, however, to say that the differences from her past self were solely a result of the demonic.


	2. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith recalls when she first met Beatrice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao this is not going to be a popular fic, but i want to write it so idek

_ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. _

\-----

Beatrice laid in the grass, with Ava beside her. They both wore smiles and the warm, summer air made them both look more beautiful than they already were. A few paces away, Lilith sat with Camila. Tenderly, Lilith ran a finger around one of Camila’s curls. The movement felt sacred. For once, the conversation was light and kind, there were no more threats hanging above them. It was freedom. 

“Lilith? Did you hear me?” Beatrice asked, snapping Lilith from her thoughts.

“Sorry.” Lilith met her gaze. “What did you say?” 

“I asked if you remembered when we first met.” Beatrice repeated with a grin. 

“Oh.” Lilith was slightly surprised at the question and Camila gave her an odd glance, as if concerned. “Yes, of course I do. Why?”

\-----

Lilith had been at Cat’s Cradle for about a year when Beatrice joined the Order. They were both younger than most of the other members, so right away they were paired together. For better, or for worse. 

“Lilith, this is Beatrice. She’s one of our new recruits.” Shannon introduced them. She hadn’t yet received the halo, though her leadership within the Order was already apparent.

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” Lilith extended a hand to Beatrice, which she promptly shook.

“You as well.” 

“You’re two of the youngest in training here at the Cradle.” Shannon gave Beatrice a kind smile. “Lilith, hopefully you can show Beatrice around and help her feel more at home. Mother Superion has requested that you two train together for the time being.” 

“Okay.” Lilith nodded. She looked up to Shannon, despite the inkling jealousy that sometimes gnawed at her consciousness. It meant a lot to Lilith that she would trust her with helping a new recruit. Hopefully, this responsibility would help Lilith prove herself as a valuable member of the OCS. 

“Thank you.” Shannon grinned. “I’ve got to get back to training. See you both at dinner!” She quickly headed back across the courtyard. 

“So…” Lilith looked down at her shoes, then back up at Beatrice. She spent most of her time alone or interacting with nuns who were much older than her. Talking to someone her own age had quickly become alien to Lilith during her time at the Cradle. 

“So…” Beatrice echoed, though she wore the slightest grin. Like Lilith, Beatrice didn’t have many opportunities to be social. They both found themselves laughing a moment later, a kind and light juvenile moment between them. 

“I can show you around, to start.” Lilith said, once she could get a sentence out.

“Thank you.” Beatrice’s grin fell from her face as her nervousness resurfaced. Lilith wasn’t ignorant to her feelings, though she didn’t comment on it.

“This is the courtyard.” Lilith began, gesturing to the massive stony expanse before them. “We train out here often.” True to her words, there were several rows of women sparring and running through their exercise routines. 

Beatrice only nodded, so Lilith began walking into the building. “This is the residential wing. I’m sure you’ve already been shown your room.” As they passed by Lilith’s door, she stopped. “This is my room. If you need anything, let me know. The first few days can be hard, I know.” 

“Did you want to come here?” Beatrice asked suddenly. “To the OCS, I mean.”

“I…” The question gave Lilith pause. While she had done well so far, especially considering her youth, she had been more than a little bit reluctant to come. Her parents would write or call every so often, though the weight of her family expectations always seemed heavier than she could bear. Lilith was even growing to like some of the other women, though she couldn’t deny how much she craved a normal childhood some days. “I think it’s a more complicated answer than yes or no.” Lilith finally answered. 

“I understand.” Beatrice whispered. It was obvious that she truly did. 

“How about you?” Lilith couldn’t help but feel curious as she continued giving Beatrice a tour of the Cradle.

“Like you said.” Beatrice sounded sad. “It’s complicated.” 

“Here’s the dining room.” Lilith interrupted, showing Beatrice the massive doors that led to the communal dining hall. “After today’s training, maybe we could hang out?” It was an awkward request, to be sure, but Beatrice nodded and gave Lilith a small smile. 

“Actually…” Lilith continued carefully. “If you want to get changed, you can train with me today. I’m working on unarmed combat skills. Do you practice martial arts?” 

“Yes.” Beatrice, once again, didn’t provide any further information. 

“Perfect.” Lilith began walking back towards the residential section of the building. “You’ll fit right in!” Secretly, though she was rather obvious about it, Lilith was happy to have someone around that was more her age. 

Twenty minutes later found the pair, ready to spar, on one of the training mats in the courtyard. They both bowed and began to circle around the other, slowly. Lilith threw the first strike. She was confident, cocky almost. The last year she’d spent in training had undoubtedly improved her combat skills. Almost unconsciously, she thought herself better than Beatrice. 

Just because Beatrice hadn’t been training with the OCS, however, didn’t mean she hadn’t been training at all. She deftly avoided Lilith’s strike and threw a punch of her own. With a surprised look on her face, Lilith barely dodged Beatrice’s attack. It was several minutes of evenly matched combat, before Beatrice finally knocked Lilith to the ground. Hard. She felt her vision go black and swim for a moment as she struggled to get a full breath in. 

\-----

“You beat me up.” Lilith remembered, with her eyes closed. “On your first day. I was quite cocky, I didn’t think you’d be that good.” 

“That sounds familiar…” Ava whispered, remembering how Lilith had beaten her up on her first day. Yet, she was hesitant to speak, lest she break the surprisingly reminiscent attitude between her sisters. She wanted to know every detail, everything that happened before she joined the fray as the surprise halo bearer. 

“I  _ apologised. _ ” Beatrice defended herself, earning a laugh from Camila. Who, like Ava, wanted every detail. “I wasn’t trying to be a jerk.” 

“No, I know.” Lilith opened her eyes and gave Beatrice a grin. Seeing her with Ava, seeing her happy, made Lilith feel warmer than she cared to admit. “We actually became pretty good friends after that.” 

“Really?” Ava was slightly surprised. While Lilith’s relationship when she arrived wasn’t as contentious as the one between Lilith and Mary… Well, it wasn’t exactly rosy. 

“Yes, really.” Lilith shot Ava a look, though it lacked venom. “You became the halo bearer at a… Disruptive time.” 

“That’s an understatement.” Camila added. In their close proximity, Lilith felt her tighten. 

“But it’s true.” Beatrice addressed Ava, mostly. “Lilith and I were good friends from the start. That’s not to say we didn’t fight, either… Well, I guess we were like sisters in more ways than one.”

“We still are.” Lilith mumbled. She was still nervous about being outwardly emotional, even after everything that had happened. 

\-----

“Are you okay?” Beatrice extended a hand to Lilith and helped her from the ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you that hard… You’re really good.” 

“It’s okay.” Lilith had been angry, for a fleeting moment, but she appreciated Beatrice’s candor. Perhaps more pressing, she appreciated Beatrice’s strength. “That was the most challenging fight I’ve had in awhile. Thank you.” 

“Likewise.” Beatrice gave her a small nod. 

They spent the rest of the day together. After dinner, they separated to shower, but Beatrice later knocked on Lilith’s door. On Lilith’s bed, they sat cross-legged, facing one another. Both women couldn’t help but wonder if this was what normal teenage relationships were supposed to be like. Minus the secret organisation of demon fighting nuns, of course. 

Unlike regular teens, however, OCS matters crept into their conversation. They didn’t go to school and there were no boys to talk about, so this is unsurprising. Still, it was the first proper conversation between them, at least the first one with depth. For that reason, among others, it held significance in Lilith’s memory. 

“Are you planning on taking your vows?” Lilith asked quietly. She was going to take hers within the next year, moreso out of supposed duty and obligation than anything else. 

“I suppose.” Back then, Beatrice was less sure of herself, less sure of her path. Of course, Ava’s arrival and the chaos that followed would only reignite that old uncertainty. “It’s what my parents would want.”

“What do you want?” Lilith was living under the shadow of her family as much as Beatrice was. It was a predicament that she understood. 

“That’s a loaded question.” Beatrice pondered it for a moment. She wanted to be good and to not be as wrong as she felt she was. “I think I’ll take them. Not right away, but…” 

“That doesn’t really answer my question.” 

“I’m sorry.” Yet, she didn’t elaborate. It would be several more months before Lilith learned any more of Beatrice’s motivations. 

“May I ask another question?” 

“Sure.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“I was recruited.” Beatrice thought of Father Vincent, who’d come all the way to her Catholic boarding school specifically to recruit her. 

“Oh?” Lilith worked to strangle the pang of jealousy she felt at the words. She had to remind herself that she was a legacy, it was never a question of recruiting her to come, but a given that might as well have been written in a prophetic text. 

“I think being here will give me a higher purpose.” Beatrice added in a self-conscious whisper. “To do something good. Truly good.” The desire to be good was always a motivator for Beatrice. 

“Understood.” Despite the initial forces that brought her to the OCS, Lilith couldn’t deny that she found the Order’s higher purpose attractive. 

Their conversation carried on for another hour, before Beatrice excused herself to go to bed. It wasn’t that late, but the bags that hung beneath her intelligent eyes were telling. On her way out, she hung in the doorway for a moment, as if in contemplation. 

“Yes?” Lilith was undeniably curious. 

“Are we friends now?”

“I’d like to think so.”


	3. Luke 1:30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice tells Lilith a secret and Lilith makes a discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi

_Luke 1:30 - And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God._

\-----

Lilith’s parents came for a visit that following autumn. It was shortly after Shannon had received the halo. The events leading up to Shannon’s assumption of the sacred relic were no short of harrowing - the entire Cradle was still reeling. Both Lilith and Beatrice had been on their first OCS mission, just in time to witness the horror of it. Thusly began Lilith’s intimate affair with sleepless nights and nightmares. 

“You weren’t chosen to be the next halo bearer.” Her father stated, rather calm, all things considered. Lilith was seated with her parents at a secluded table at a restaurant in town. Her lunch lay untouched in front of her.

“No.” Lilith didn’t elaborate. When she closed her eyes, she could still see the horrors of the failed mission. 

“That’s okay, sweetie.” Her mom was surprisingly optimistic and set a hand on Lilith’s shoulder. “You’re still quite young. It might be only a year or two before the next bearer is chosen.” 

“How can you say that?” Lilith asked in a ragged whisper, her thoughts suddenly raging. “Shannon is my friend. I’d rather never become the bearer than watch her die.” 

“Don’t say that.” Her father’s face hardened somewhat. 

“Why not?” Lilith could barely believe the words that were coming out of their mouths, yet at the same time, she almost wasn’t surprised. “Because I don’t want to watch a friend die? I joined the OCS like you both wanted for me, as a _legacy._ But I’ve made friends now. They’re a family to me.” 

“Calm down.” Her mother’s tone grew patronising. “We’re not telling you not to make friends, we’re only trying to make you aware of the realities.”

“I’m plenty aware, thank you.” Lilith couldn’t keep the venom from her words. 

“Dispense with the drama.” Her father bit, matching Lilith’s venom word for word. Must be genetic. “Being a halo bearer is in your blood.” 

“Why would you want me to take up such a dangerous position, honour or otherwise, if it means I’ll die so much sooner?” 

Lilith never got a good answer to her question and that lunch left her feeling both angry and conflicted. She recounted the event to Beatrice as they spent the evening together in the library. 

“Do you want to be the halo bearer?” Beatrice asked quietly. They were alone, yet it still felt wrong to speak at full volume in the Cradle’s library. She was flipping through one of the older halo bearer journals while she spoke. “It seems like more of a burden than a gift.” 

“I don’t know.” Lilith was nothing if not honest in that moment. “It’s an honour, but… Well, after everything we saw…” Tears welled up in her eyes, despite Lilith’s efforts to suppress them.

“I know what you mean.” Beatrice reached across the table and squeezed Lilith’s hand, knowing all too well what she felt in that moment. 

“I didn’t even want to come here.” Lilith added in a whisper. 

“I mean…” Beatrice paused, trying to be careful of how she phrased her sentence. “You’ve never told me so explicitly, but… I had a feeling.” 

“Is that so?” Lilith raised an eyebrow; it was almost playful. Beatrice couldn’t help but smile. 

“I didn’t either.” Beatrice replied. “But this place, these people… There’s a certain familial nature about it that is more loving than my actual family.” 

“I know _exactly_ what you mean.” Lilith agreed earnestly. Beatrice had found words for the feelings she couldn’t quite place. Part of her, though, the less virtuous side of herself… Couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to wield such a magnificent power. Quickly, Lilith tried to force the thought away and return to the text in front of her. As part of their studies, she and Beatrice had spent hours reading through old accounts. It was curious work if there ever was any. 

“Have you met Mary yet?” Beatrice asked suddenly, disrupting Lilith’s other thoughts that seemed to creep in after only a moment of silence. 

“Hm?” Lilith looked up from the text though she hadn’t been reading it. “Oh, the new girl? The one who’s been talking and training with Father Vincent every day?” A regrettable part of her was jealous. Father Vincent’s influence in the order couldn’t be understated and Lilith wasn’t entirely sure why he was spending so much time with this outsider. Especially one who seemed so detached from religion.

“Yes.” Beatrice nodded. “He thinks she can be an asset.” 

“How do you know all this?” 

“I’ve been translating some old documents for him. I’m in the office quite often.” Even in her youth, Beatrice was one of the brightest minds at the Cradle.

“So I should come to you for all the gossip?” Lilith suggested with an undeniably playful smirk.

“I don’t know if I would call it that.” Beatrice replied with a short laugh. “Actually, one of the documents is more than slightly interesting.” 

“Is it?” 

“I can’t speak for its verity, since Father Vincent hasn’t told me where it’s from, but there is a prophecy about the halo bearer.” 

“Oh?” Lilith’s curiosity was more than slightly piqued. 

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?” 

“I promise.” 

“Apparently, there will be a great evil, the greatest evil the halo bearer has ever faced. The only way to defeat it will be for the halo bearer to team up with demonic for the greater good.” Beatrice paraphrased the Latin text.

“That’s borderline insanity.” Lilith muttered. “The halo bearer would _never_ team up with demonic forces. It’s literally antithetical to what the halo is for.” 

“I know that.” Beatrice retorted. “But Father Vincent seems to place a lot of stock in it, I think it would be foolish to dismiss it so readily.” 

“Perhaps…” Lilith’s mind was alight with the possibilities. 

“If you were the halo bearer, would you team up with a demon if it meant achieving your goals?” Beatrice couldn’t help but ask, especially after their earlier conversations. 

“I mean…” Lilith pondered the question for a moment. “I guess it depends on what the end goal was. It’s hard to say for sure, isn’t it?” 

“What if you were the demon?” 

“What?” Lilith froze. “That doesn’t even make sense.” 

“It’s just a hypothetical.” Beatrice added. “I mean, given what we’d know, the demon would want the evil to succeed. So why team up with the bearer?” 

“Maybe Father Vincent knows something we don’t? Or he’s actually totally nuts?” 

“Maybe…” Beatrice wasn’t as ready to dismiss it as Lilith was. 

“Oh!” Lilith glanced at the clock. “It’s past eight!” 

“Yes?” Beatrice gave her a quizzical look.” 

“I was meant to clean the training room after dinner!” Lilith got up from the table in a hurry. 

“Do you want help?” Beatrice offered. 

“No, it’s okay.” Lilith hurried towards the door. “Hang out later, though?” 

“Of course.” Beatrice nodded as Lilith bolted down the hall. Her footsteps were audible for a few seconds before fading into silence. 

Lilith was in the training room a few minutes later. It was slightly creepy in the dark, with only a few rows of candles lighting the room. Hastily, she flipped on the lights and began to clear the weapons from the room. She stacked them up at the edge of the mat, which she then realised needed to be cleaned. 

Many of the other nuns hated getting training room duty, but she didn’t mind. Sometimes, after a long day of studying and fighting, it was nice to do something mindless. It wasn’t often that Lilith had time to let her mind wander and she savoured the opportunity. Today, however, she couldn’t seem to get Beatrice’s words out of her head. Lilith tried to imagine what being a demon was like, but it was hard to fathom. 

Sure, she’d read about the higher order demons, but all the recent warrior nun archives mentioned Wraiths. Just Wraiths. Not that those weren’t scary or dangerous, they were, but Lilith didn’t think that they even had sentient thoughts. She figured that, if the prophecy was true, that the halo bearer would team up with something more powerful. Perhaps she’d ride into battle on the back of a Tarask. Wouldn’t that be something? 

With a short, echoing laugh, Lilith dismissed the thought. Her distraction had made the time pass faster, as she was now done mopping. Quickly, she put away the cleaning supplies and picked up several weapons to carry back to the armoury. The door was slightly ajar when she got there, but Lilith didn’t think much of it. She put her back to it, since her hands were full. Weird. The light was on too. 

As Lilith turned around, she saw Shannon and Mary, who hadn’t noticed her arrival. Most likely, because they were locked in an exceedingly passionate embrace. Not knowing what else to do, Lilith gave a short cough, since the shelf she needed access to was behind them. 

“Oh!” Shannon broke away from Mary in an instant, though the halo was slower to dim. Lilith noted this with curiosity - something to think about more in depth later. “Lilith! I didn’t see you there.” 

“I… Um…” It was only after making herself known that Lilith felt extremely awkward. Her cheeks burned in embarrassment. Mary only watched her coolly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt, but… Well, I’ve got to put these away.” 

“Of course.” Shannon took Mary’s hand and led her from the room. 

Alone once more, Lilith stood at the shelf and carefully put each weapon away. She took much longer than was strictly necessary. Her thoughts had already been a jumble, but now, they were fully tangled. She knew what her religious teachings would have her think about this, but Lilith’s opinion was quite different. 

  
After a few minutes of deliberation, she found herself intrigued more than anything. Almost desperately, she wondered what it would be like to kiss someone like that. What it would be like to love someone. Maybe even scarier, what it would be like to be loved. With an angry shake of her head, she tried to force those thoughts away. She’d be taking her vows soon. There would be no room for relationships. At least, other than the one she had with _God._


	4. Matthew 10:28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith revisits an old haunting ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot this existed

_ Matthew 10:28 - And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. _

\-----

Piercing. Overwhelming. Pain from the Tarask’s claw radiated through her torso. Lilith’s world went black, leaving her with only a fading image of the halo bearer. Of the halo. Of Ava. Dark cold turned to warmth, turned to unbearable searing heat. In an agonising moment, Lilith’s world was reformed. Changed. Crumbled.

Shakily, Lilith rose to her feet. Her lungs burned as she inhaled; the air smelt of sulfur. Sharp winds only amplified this effect as they rushed through the tall grasses that bordered the narrow, cracked pathway. Looking up revealed only black and turning around revealed the same. Forward was the only way. In an instant, Lilith knew where she was. 

“I’m not meant to be here.” She whispered, taking her first step down the path. 

“Aren’t you?” Ava appeared by her side, from nowhere. Lilith fought the urge to jump. Something was  _ wrong  _ about this version of the halo bearer, but Lilith couldn’t quite place it. 

“You’re not really her.” 

“Says who?” The not-Ava followed Lilith down the path, though she didn’t seem to react to the wind as Lilith did. Her hair didn’t move, nor did the clothes on her body.

“I’m quite sure Ava’s not dead.” Lilith muttered. Every instinct in her body screamed at not-Ava’s proximity. 

“Well…” Not-Ava hesitated and Lilith realised the voice was all wrong, too. It lacked humanity. “I can only take the form of someone who’s died and failed to enter the kingdom.” 

“Oh.” 

Lilith continued to walk and desperately tried to ignore her increasingly terrifying surroundings and the spectre that followed her. Ava  _ had  _ died. But the halo had brought her back. Did that mean…? In her frustrated confusion, Lilith’s head spun. For a moment, she wondered if she’d be sick, but at the same time, she felt oddly empty. 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Not-Ava asked, breaking the brief silence between them. “You were trying to kill Ava before, were you not?” 

“No…” Lilith tried to take a deep breath, but it only made her lungs burn. “Well, yes, but -”

“Then I’m not really sure why you’re so upset.” The spectre muttered, not bothering to disguise the venom in its voice. 

“It was a mistake.” Lilith breathed. Maybe she’d known all along. It seemed, at least sometimes, that her mind was divided. Part of her, despite how much she tried to repress it, believed what Duretti had told her. Perhaps more accurately, what her parents had begun telling her years ago. 

“A mistake, she says.” Not-Ava was clearing teasing her. “Spilling your tea is a mistake. Murder isn’t.” 

An angry sigh escaped Lilith’s chest, though she knew the not-Ava that followed her was right. The dim meadow that had surrounded them dipped into a rush of water, a slow moving river. Within it, pale bodies were trapped beneath the surface, helpless to the current. Lilith watched silently, standing still for a moment on the bank. A rickety bridge crossed the river, though Lilith was understandably tentative about walking across it. 

“Well?” Not-Ava seemed surprisingly anxious. “Are you going to continue on?” Lilith looked behind her. The impenetrable black had swallowed the grassy fields she’d only just wandered from. 

“Do I have a choice?” Lilith tried to keep her voice even and disguise the fear that was rising in her chest. A second later, she realised that the spectre could probably sense it. 

“No. Not really.” Not-Ava held out a hand for Lilith to hold, but she ignored it and continued on. Surprisingly, the bridge didn’t topple. “I bet you’re wondering why you’re not in Heaven.” 

“No. I’m not.” Lilith bit. Her lungs burned with every breath. She didn’t  _ feel  _ dead. As much as she wanted to deceive herself, to claim that there was some mistake, Lilith knew why she was here. 

“Most people beg and plead when they get here.” Not-Ava muttered with surprising frustration. “They promise to be better or ask for second chances. You’re really ruining the fun.” 

“Sorry.” Lilith wasn’t sorry at all. 

“Most people break by this point.” 

“Is that so?” Lilith looked around. They stood in the middle of a massive dark canyon. Huge boulders littered the valley. Some of which had people pinned beneath them.

“Their souls break.” Not-Ava walked on, seemingly unbothered by the suffering cries from those around them. 

“Me being…  _ Dead  _ isn’t enough?” Despite her best efforts, Lilith’s voice cracked. There was so much she still wanted to do - needed to do. Part of her knew this punishment was deserved, though she was reluctant to accept it. 

“For someone of your knowledge and skill set, you’re not that bright.” The spectre told her as the walls of the valley fell away, revealing a putrid swamp. Bodies, in various states of decomposition, wrestled in the knee-high mud. If the violence wasn’t overwhelming, the smell certainly was. “Enough talk. This is your stop. Hopefully you’ve learned something.” Not-Ava reported, before swiftly pushing Lilith from the path. 

She fell heavily into the mud and it was only an instant before the violence reached her. Quickly, Lilith tried to stand, tried to fight. There was no use. Between the thick mud, the sheer number of assailants, and the sickening dizziness in her head, it was a lost cause. Pain enveloped her once more as did the baptismal blackness that brought her to Hell originally. 

“Lilith? Lilith!”

Lilith tried to sit up, breathing heavily. Something was holding her down. No.  _ Someone.  _ She was still lost in confusion, trapped halfway between two realities. After a few seconds, the room came into focus. Gaining recognition, Lilith became aware of the slick, cold sweat that clung to her face… As well as the adorable women who sat above her, face etched with concern. 

“Are you okay?” Camila whispered, releasing her grip on Lilith and allowed her to sit upright. All the blankets and pillows had been thrown to the floor.

“I…” Lilith’s voice sounded thick and raspy. “Sorry.” She took a deep breath and tried to steady the sick shaking in her limbs. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“I hardly care about that!” Camila took one of Lilith’s hands gently in her own. “You know that I don’t.” 

“Still…” Lilith closed her eyes for a moment and immediately wished she hadn’t. She could still see the false Ava and the broken faces of the damned. 

“Still, nothing.” Camila sighed before kissing each of the knuckles on Lilith’s trembling hand. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No.” At once, Lilith softened, regretting her harshness. “Sorry. I’m sorry. There’s nothing to tell. Nothing that you don’t already know.” 

“I’m not asking because I want to know. I’m asking because I want to help you.” Camila explained quietly. For a moment, Lilith only stared at her. Their relationship was still so new and she was far from used to Camila’s intimate kindness.

“I…” Lilith took a deep breath. “Still, no.”

“How about…” Camila hesitated for a moment, but then smiled. “How about I make you a cup of tea and we go for a walk in the gardens? Then we’ll try to sleep again afterwards. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Lilith mumbled, following Camila from the room. Their footsteps were barely audible in the silent halls, but Lilith shivered still. It reminded her of being followed by not-Ava. As if able to sense her discomfort, Camila squeezed Lilith’s hand slightly tighter. 

“It’s okay.” She whispered as they entered the empty kitchen. “You’re safe, I promise.” 

Lilith only watched as Camila put the kettle on. Every minute helped calm her mind and slow her breathing, but Lilith wasn’t blind to the effect her sojourn in Hell had inflicted upon her. Between that, and everything that happened afterwards, Lilith wondered if she’d ever know a peaceful night’s sleep again. 

“Here.” Camila pressed a warm mug into Lilith’s hands a few moments later, freeing Lilith from a series of increasingly dark thoughts. 

“Thank you.” Lilith finally met Camila’s gaze, slightly obscured from the steam rising from their mugs. “Genuinely. You’re better to me than I deserve.” 

“Than you deserve.” Camila repeated, with a slight frown. “I’m not sure that’s true.” 

“I think you might be biased.” Lilith replied. The corner of her mouth turned upwards with just a hint of a smile. 

“Most likely.” Camila returned Lilith’s smile tenfold. “Now let’s go outside. It’s a full moon and my orchids are in bloom.” 

“Are they?” Lilith wondered. How did Camila kept up with so many extracurriculars while also training and studying full time. Regardless, she let Camila lead her out into the garden. 

It was a stunning evening. Slightly brisk, though it was a nice break from the long days of heat and humidity. The threat of autumn hung in the air, though Lilith knew that it would be several weeks still before the weather cooled down significantly. Camila had been right about the moon, of course, it was bright enough to make out the colours of the various flowers that adorned the garden.

“It’s beautiful.” Lilith breathed, in reverence of the scene before her. Camila knelt a few paces away, seemingly examining some of her plants. Evidently, Lilith hadn’t spoken quietly enough, as Camila rose and returned to her. 

“I’m surprised you think so.” Camila replied, while carefully threading her fingers through Lilith’s once more. 

“Why?” 

“To be blunt…” Camila leaned her head against Lilith’s shoulder, making the taller women blush slightly, despite the cool breeze on her face. “You haven’t always been a ‘stop and smell the roses’ kind of person.” 

“With that build up, I expected you to say something a bit meaner.” Lilith found herself laughing, despite everything. “I guess people change, sometimes.” 

“You’ve changed, Lilith.” 

“I know.” 

“But I don’t think it’s entirely for the worst. Maybe you think that, I’m not sure. You’re different now. Stronger, better. Most importantly, kinder.” Camila’s words made Lilith’s blush grow in intensity. 

“You’ve thought about this before.” Lilith said, as her eye found the star-studded sky once more. Nightmares aside, she was beyond grateful for this second chance. Grateful to be alive. Maybe that was how Ava felt too. 

“Of course I have. Because…” Camila whispered. “Because I love you.” 

“I… I love you, too.”


	5. James 4:1-2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension rises at the Cradle, but there is even more strife on the horizon.

_ James 4:1-2 - What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. _

\-----

“They’ve been fighting a lot.” Beatrice told Lilith as they sat in the library. Shannon and Mary were arguing in the courtyard below, and the halo flared with Shannon’s anger. She’d borne the holy relic for a few years now, but Mary still made it react.

“I know.” Lilith rubbed her eyes. “Shannon’s room is next door to mine. Mary is convinced that Shannon is changing, that the halo is changing her.” 

“She has changed though, hasn’t she?” Beatrice raised an eyebrow. Neither of them wanted to be nosy, but there was very little privacy at Cat’s Cradle. Plus, the emotional well-being of the halo bearer and her team were everyone’s concern.

“Yes.” Lilith agreed in an instant. The Shannon that she’d met no longer existed. That Shannon had been replaced with a much more withdrawn woman, a much more serious woman. Though Mary and Lilith frequently butted heads, Lilith understood her concern.

“What should we do about it?” Beatrice asked, closing the book in front of her. 

“What?” Lilith watched her carefully. “I’m not sure there’s anything we  _ can  _ do. Shannon barely talks to us anymore. Maybe she can’t handle the burden…”

“Lilith.” Beatrice’s voice grew steely. “Futile or not, we need to do something. Irrespective of the halo, discord within our ranks puts us all at risk.”

A clanging bell interrupted their conversation. “You know what that means.” Lilith bit as she quickly rose from the table. “It seems demons have a sense of irony.”

“Don’t start with me.” Beatrice retorted sharply, while following Lilith from the room. It seemed that Shannon and Mary weren’t the only ones finding their relationship a little more contentious than usual.

Shannon, Mary, Lilith, and Beatrice found themselves summoned to Mother Superion’s office a few minutes later. This could only mean one thing.

“I know it’s late.” She began, pacing in front of the office’s huge window. “But Father Vincent has received some troubling reports of demonic activity, just outside of town. I’m sending the four of you out to take care of it. Understood?” 

“Define  _ troubling. _ ” Mary asked without, as Lilith thought, the necessary respect needed when addressing a superior. 

“It seems the demonic influence is spreading faster than normal.” Mother Superion explained with a scowl. “I’m sure at least some of you…” She looked pointedly at Beatrice. “Have noticed a pattern emerging recently.” 

“Demonic activity on the rise and growing more powerful.” Beatrice replied. “Which could be emblematic of something greater.” Despite her training, Lilith had to work to suppress a shudder at Beatrice’s words. She wasn’t scared of fighting, far from it, but  _ something bigger  _ in demon terms was still a terrifying prospect.

“Very good.” Mother Superion nodded. “So in addition to neutralising the threat, I’d like you to keep an eye out for anything unusual.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Shannon answered respectfully. There were still the remnants of tears in her eyes, likely from her heated argument with Mary earlier. Was that a part of being in love? Lilith asked herself this as the four of them retreated to the armoury. She didn’t know. At least, Lilith didn’t know the answer then. 

Camila was waiting in the armoury, with a pensive expression etched onto her face. Without a word, she began handing out the requisite weapons - the Divinium sword for Shannon, two shotguns for Mary, several throwing knives for Beatrice, and a staff for Lilith. As the four of them prepared to leave, Mary and Shannon resumed their ‘conversation,’ in whispered tones at the far corner of the room. Meanwhile, Beatrice and Camila shared a quick exchange.

“Sorry you didn’t get asked to come. I promise you will soon, likely within the month.” Beatrice told Camila, though Lilith could hear them from where she was standing. “You’re almost ready.” 

“You really think that, Bea?” Camila couldn’t help but smile. 

“I do.” Beatrice replied as she slid knives into her belt. “Your training has improved immensely. I think Mother Superion is just concerned about the more emotional aspects of the mission. Such as your patience.” 

“I can be patient.” Camila muttered. This was something she said quite often, though she was rarely right.

“Mmm… Sometimes.” The corner of Beatrice’s mouth turned up with just a hint of a smile. Camila had the effect on most people. Not Lilith though. At least, not yet.

“Alright.” Shannon suddenly interrupted, speaking much louder than she had been a moment ago. “Let’s get going.” 

“Be safe!” Camila called as Shannon and Mary exited the armoury and headed towards the garage. “Especially you, Bea.” She added, catching Beatrice’s wrist. “You’re my favourite teacher here!” 

“I’ll be safe.” Beatrice promised, before following Mary down the hall. Lilith was the last to leave the room, silent as always.

“And you, too.” Camila whispered, as Lilith walked by. “I know we’re not exactly friends, but I still care about your safety.” 

“I…” There were a million thoughts that ran through Lilith’s head, each more distracting than the last. A large part of her wanted to say something nice in return, something genuine. But Lilith couldn’t make herself say any of it. “Okay.” She finally mumbled, before leaving.

Upon arriving at the site of the demonic activity, violence broke out before the four of them even left the vehicle. Wraith-influenced humans formed a small mob around the van, through which they had to fight their way free.

“What  _ is  _ this?!” Mary shouted over the din of violence, asking the question that was on everyone’s mind. No one had even seen anything like this. 

“I feel something.” Shannon replied, with a distracted look in her eyes. “Coming from the church.” She pointed towards the ornate church on the far side of the town square. “It’s the center.”

“Well, you heard the woman.” Mary added. “Let’s head to the church.”

With the crowd mostly dispatched, but not dead, walking to the church was a simple task. “This is not a normal infestation…” Beatrice whispered, to no one in particular as they trawled through the dark, holy building. 

“An infestation like this, growing overnight?” Lilith breathed from beside Beatrice. “You’re right.”

Shannon led them into the church’s basement, using the halo to both light and guide their way down. The air grew cold, shockingly on such a warm night. Icy breaths hung in the air as the four of them gathered around an old wooden door, in the farthest reach of the basement.

“I can’t explain it, but whatever we’re looking for, it’s on the other side of that door.” Shannon mumbled, pressing a hand against the wooden surface. 

Before anyone could reply, Shannon phased through the door. “Fuck.” Mary bit, kicking the wooden door from its hinges a second later. Within, she found Shannon transfixed by a strange sight. The small room was nearly empty, save for a small podium. Atop it, a holy-looking text, with pages overflowing in Latin script. Interestingly, the words glowed blue in the halo’s presence. 

Wind spun through the room, with no discernable source. It whipped across everyone’s faces, sharp and freezing. Beatrice, thinking quickly, closed the book, breaking whatever spell it had. 

“What… Was… That?” Shannon asked, with terror in her trembling voice. 

“No idea.” Beatrice looked at the book’s Latin cover. “But I think we should bring it back to the Cradle. For further study.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Mary countered. “What if it attracts more wraiths?” 

“Cat’s Cradle is one of the holiest sites in the world.” Lilith argued. “The very soil it’s built on is consecrated and it’s home to some of the most dangerous women in the world.” 

“What if it attracts something  _ worse? _ ” Mary inquired sharply. 

“There hasn’t been a sighting of a higher order demon in over a century.” Beatrice replied. She was calmer than everyone else. 

In the end, they decided to bring the book back. The car ride was understandably tense and Lilith kept her gaze fixed out the window. She didn’t want to talk to anyone and she didn’t want anyone to talk to her. For some reason, going up against demons always made her feel  _ off,  _ in a nondescript way. It was a sentiment that no one else at the Cradle seemed to share. 

Father Vincent was waiting for them to return. His presence in the armoury was almost ominous, foreboding even, but Lilith shook the thought away. She was just being suspicious, she had no reason to fear or distrust the padre. 

“What happened?” Father Vincent asked. His voice echoed slightly in the empty armoury.

“We found something weird.” Shannon reported, shrugging off the Divinium sword and stowing it amongst the other weapons. Already, she seemed a million miles away. 

“Here.” Beatrice set the book in his hands. A look of recognition flashed across his face, but only for a split second. 

“Interesting…” He looked down at the cover. “I’ll start researching this immediately. Beatrice, report to my office first thing in the morning.” 

“Yes, Father Vincent.” Beatrice agreed as the padre left the room.

Once the four of them were alone again, an immediate argument broke out. “Shannon, I don’t care if you’re invulnerable, phasing through that door without us was irresponsible.” 

“Mary, enough.” Lilith intervened. “It’s been a long day.” 

“I agree with Lilith.” Beatrice added. “There’s been enough fighting for one day. Can we revisit this in the morning?” 

“Of course you are defending Shannon!” Mary bit, looking at Lilith with contempt in her eyes. “You  _ want  _ her to be reckless, because it increases your chances of getting the halo.” 

“What?” Lilith took a step back. It was somewhat true that Lilith desired the halo, but she did not want Shannon to die for it. Not even close.

“That’s hardly fair…” Beatrice chimed in. 

“There’s no fair about this.” Shannon muttered, closing her eyes as she spoke. Her exhaustion was clear. “We’re distracting ourselves with stuff that doesn’t matter.” 

“I don’t think Lilith encouraging your recklessness is inconsequential.” Mary retorted sharply. Her care for Shannon was all that motivated her, but the jab still hurt. Almost at once, Lilith felt tears burn her eyes. 

“Mary -” Shannon began, as Lilith ran from the room. Her soft footsteps echoed in the stone halls as she retreated to the residential section of the Cradle. In the hall, she ran into Camila, who’d been coming to check on the success of their mission. 

“Sorry!” Camila cried, though he had no reason to apologise. It was Lilith who ran into her. Upon seeing the tears in Lilith’s eyes, Camila’s expression changed from surprise to concern. “Lilith, are you okay?” 

  
“Just - just leave me alone!” Lilith breathed, covering her face as she ran to her room. The door slammed shut a moment later. Though Lilith  _ never  _ wished for Shannon to perish, the halo bearer was dead only a few weeks later.


	6. Isaiah 26:19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shannon's death leads to Ava's life - though the transition is far from simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is basically just a pet project that no one is reading, but i wanted to break from my avatrice mold a little bit so... yeah. if you are one of the few readers of this fic, hi, how are you? thanks for coming along for the ride.

_ Isaiah 26:19 - Your dead shall live; their bodies shall rise. You who dwell in the dust, awake and sing for joy! For your dew is a dew of light, and the earth will give birth to the dead. _

\-----

Lilith felt cold. Despite the muggy summer night, she was so thoroughly freezing that she wondered if her blood had turned to ice. Somewhere in the bowels of Cat’s Cradle, Shannon laid dead. For as long as she lived, Lilith would never forget watching her get shot, nor the agonising breaths she took as they carried her back to the safety of the Cradle. Or, what they thought had been safety. The implications of the attack were not lost on anyone, not then, not ever. Rather, they hung heavily in the air.

There were, tragically, very little answers to be had right now. Beatrice, who stood by the open window in the office, might as well have been a thousand miles away. Lilith had known her long enough to recognise the distant look on her teary face, a look that signified her working through a problem. Dismally, Lilith wondered if this was a problem that  _ could  _ be worked through. 

In one of the chairs facing the desk, Mary was folded into herself. Her size hadn’t changed that day, obviously, yet Lilith thought she looked smaller. Losing Shannon had ripped out a part of her, destroying whatever had led to Mary being a whole person. Watching her suffer was almost worse than watching Shannon die. Almost. 

Camila, in an act that Lilith thought both selfless and pointless, knelt by Mary’s side. She whispered, sotto voce, with a gentle hand placed on Mary’s back. In a room that felt overwhelming cold and painfully sad, Camila was the only bastion of warmth. For the briefest moment, Lilith wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of Camila’s warmth. She shook the thought away as quickly as it occurred. It was a pointless thing to wonder, really.

“We have a problem.” Father Vincent swept into the office without his usual composure, followed closely by Mother Superion. 

“Define problem.” Lilith was the only one with the fortitude to talk, despite the anxiety that Father Vincent’s words inspired. After all, she was meant to be the new halo bearer, irrespective of the aching turmoil that had taken residence in her chest. 

“The halo is…” He hesitated her and every pair of eyes in the room was fixated on Father Vincent with such intensity, it was a wonder that he could still form a sentence. “Missing.” 

“Surely you’re joking.” Beatrice muttered, her voice little more than a raspy whisper after the terrible events of that evening. 

“I assure you we are not.” Mother Superion reaffirmed the terrible news as she heavily sat down behind the desk.

“It couldn’t have walked off on its own…” Camila stated the obvious. Her hand stayed firmly on Mary’s back as she spoke. 

“That’s where this becomes more complicated…” Father Vincent ran a hand through his hair, betraying his own stress. “One of the sisters hid the halo in the morgue, embedded in one of the dead bodies. This was only meant to be a temporary measure, of course, to hide the halo from demons.” 

“The Order has used corpses to hide the halo for centuries.” Beatrice was nothing if not well read. “This shouldn’t be an issue.” 

“That’s likely what our fallen sister would have said, too.” Mother Superion added solemnly. “But that corpse… Is a corpse no longer.” 

“You’re not suggesting…” Lilith’s words died in her mouth. 

“A resurrection fueled by the halo has never been seen before.” Beatrice didn’t need much study to know that. “Except, once.” 

“With Areala, yes.” Father Vincent nodded. “The first warrior nun.” 

“What does that mean?” Lilith asked, shockingly neutral, unlike the internal war that raged inside her. She was equal parts relieved, angry, and disappointed. Somehow that made sense. 

“One guess as to why you’re so interested.” Mary mumbled, finally joining the conversation. Lilith opened her mouth to reply, before swallowing the cutting remark. Mary had just lost a loved one, was it really fair to bite back?

“If there is a completely untrained and unknowing warrior nun out there, it is everyone’s concern.” Father Vincent said sharply, with a pitiful glance at Mary and a much sharper one levelled at Lilith. Uncalled for.

“What could have caused this?” Beatrice wondered, almost to herself. She seemed withdrawn, as if it was easier to wrangle with her emotions if she completely removed herself from them. So, not  _ really  _ dealing with them, then. “An untrained and uninitiated civilian, resurrected by the halo… Surely that can’t be just random chance.” 

“Given what we know about the halo, I’m inclined to agree.” Father Vincent’s expression was drawn, pensive. 

There was something else, though, a flash that Lilith noticed in his expression. Had she not been immediately focused on him, she might not have even noticed it. Fear. That’s what it was. But why? It would be a month before Lilith got the answer to that question. 

“Obviously, our first course of action is to find her.” Mother Superion announced, interrupting Lilith’s complex thoughts. 

“We will have more detailed assignments in the morning.” Father Vincent added quietly. “For now, it’s been a hard evening. I can’t even…” He looked at Mary, with surprising empathy. “I can’t even imagine. If needed, head down to the infirmary, otherwise, try to get a few hours sleep. It might be a longer journey in front of us than we anticipate.” Oh, how those words would ring true.

Ava’s arrival (or perhaps her re-arrival) into the world would only serve to fracture the group further. The following weeks would serve as a testament not only to everyone’s strengths, but to their weaknesses as well. And, as Lilith would quickly learn, Ava was far more valuable as an ally than as her enemy. These, of course, were lessons yet to come - yet to be learned. While that evening seemed like a catastrophic low, the worst was yet to come. 

\-----

“That was a bit of a rude comment.” Mary smirked, before taking a huge bite of her apple. It was crisply staccato between her teeth. “You loved Shannon too. I’m sorry.” 

“Given what happened, it was more than understandable.” Lilith sighed. Having recounted this memory to Ava made Lilith feel embarrassed more than anything. “And I  _ did  _ try to kill Ava for the halo, so you weren’t entirely wrong.” 

“Still…” Mary regarded her pensively. 

“I’m not sure if I should feel like I’m missing out or not…” Ava mumbled. She laid on her side in the achingly green grass, with her head in Beatrice’s lap. Idly, Beatrice had wound several braids into Ava’s hair, with wildflowers tucked into several strands. As usual, the sun seemed to focus on Ava with a bit more intensity than anyone else. 

“Probably not.” Camila spoke from beside Lilith. “But it’s a story to tell. Our story. And while I wish we could edit out the bad parts, that isn’t how this works.” 

“If we could edit out the bad parts, then I’d leave out how I wandered around all night, completely clueless and throwing up on people.” Ava grinned. 

“Sometimes I wonder how I’ve fallen in love with you.” Beatrice breathed, completely taken with Ava, without the self-consciousness she’d carried through her life.

“Honestly, we all do.” Mary agreed, earning a round of laughs from everyone. It was warm that day, peaceful as the others. With the enemy defeated and world saved, one languid summer day blended into another; each was more vibrant and beautiful than the last.


	7. Proverbs 27:6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend retuns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe now youve finally figured out where this is going ;) the writing has always been on the wall ;)

_ Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. _

\-----

Ava woke up with a shuddering gasp and coated in sweat. As always, Beatrice was kindly beside her. 

“Shh… It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.” Beatrice whispered calming words as she reached an arm around Ava and pulled her close. 

“I was… There… Now…” Ava panted, struggling to describe anything through her half-woken panic. “This is… Not  _ Hell. _ ” 

“No. It’s not.” Beatrice firmly reassured her. “We’re not in  _ Hell.  _ But that place has left a mark on you. On Lilith, too.” 

“Even here?” 

“Even here.”

“But we did the right thing.” Ava was confident about that. “We saved the world.”

“Unequivocally.” Beatrice smiled, even as tears filled her eyes. She pressed a sharp kiss to Ava’s forehead. “In the end, you made a great member of the OCS and an even greater warrior nun.” 

“You really think so?” Ava looked up at her with eyes that seemed to shine, even in the dark.

“I know so.” Beatrice was quiet for a moment, but then continued. “Do you want to go for a walk?” 

“Now?” It was the middle of the night, but a bright full moon hung in the sky. It painted muted swaths of light across the stone floor. 

“Why not?” 

“Can’t argue with that.” Ava slid out of bed and Beatrice was quick to follow. Neither of them bothered with shoes, but it was a warm summer night. 

“It’s a beautiful night.” Beatrice observed once they were outside. The moon lent everything a dampened colour compared to the day’s vibrance, but it was no less stunning. Flowers were blooming and the air was sweet with the smell of the ocean and the garden. 

“It is.” Ava grinned. “And I get to share it with a beautiful woman, too.” 

“I know the feeling.” 

“Is that so?” Ava laughed. 

“It is.” Beatrice was calm. It was nice. She wrapped a hand around Ava’s and savoured the warmth that they shared. 

“Maybe we could do this again sometime?” 

“For eternity.” 

\-----

The days following Shannon’s death were indescribably difficult for everyone. Mary had withdrawn almost completely, focusing all her energy on whatever Father Vincent had assigned her. Even then, Lilith was suspicious of this. Or perhaps  _ jealous  _ was a better word. Either way, Mary was rarely around, not that she would have talked to anyone, anyhow. 

Beatrice withdrew into her studies and training, which Lilith had expected entirely. Emoting, especially in front of others, was never one of Beatrice’s fortés. Eventually, they’d have a proper discussion, but it hadn’t quite come up yet. Camila was even more withdrawn, having seen Shannon’s orchestrated death on her first OCS mission. She was constantly teary eyed, even as she worked through her tasks around the Cradle. 

Lilith had, despite every instinct screaming at her to stop, tried to talk to Camila. Help her, somehow. The day after Lilith shared a conversation with Cardinal Duretti, she found Camila in the weapons locker. Her thoughts were messy and focused on the Cardinal’s words, yet still Lilith found herself drawn to Camila, to her light.

“Hi.” Lilith began, awkwardly, as she entered the otherwise empty armoury. 

“Hi.” Camila’s eyes were red, but she smiled when she saw Lilith in the doorway.

“How are you?” Lilith shook her head. “No, that’s a stupid question.” Why was she so nervous?! “I can’t imagine a worse first mission and I know it’s been… Hard.” 

“It has.” 

“For me, too.” Lilith sighed and took a few steps closer. “I’m not sure if I can do anything… But if there’s anything I can do to help, will you  _ please  _ let me know?” 

“Really?” Camila was somewhat taken aback by this. She had long suspected that Lilith wasn’t as tough and cold as she outwardly portrayed, but this was still shocking. 

“Really.” Lilith smiled. It felt odd. “Okay, well… Bye.” 

Lilith retreated back into the training room proper before Camila could reply. It was only when she was half a building away that she realised she hadn’t actually checked out a weapon. Which was rather important, since she had a solo mission to complete that evening. Lilith had to go kill the new halo bearer. 

\-----

“Hold on, you were deep in your crush on Camila, yet you still found the time and energy to come murder me?” Ava asked the next day as the five of them sat in the garden, swapping stories and experiences. 

“It was a complicated time.” Lilith mumbled, distracted by Camila’s warm presence beside her. “I thought it was the right thing to do, at the time. Duretti manipulated me. He played on my pride and I fell for it like a fool. I’m sorry.” 

“You’ve apologised a dozen times.” Ava grinned. “I’ve already forgiven you. But I just can’t believe that you were getting all nervous about talking to Cam, only to go try and commit murder. Talk about the duality of a person… Lil, are you a gemini?” 

“Don’t call me Lil.” Lil muttered as she laid back in the aggressively green grass. There was a picnic spread between them and the food tasted just as vibrant as their surroundings. It was paradise. 

“I think it’s cute…” Camila smiled. “If you ignore the murder part.” 

“To be fair, I tried to stop that murder.” Mary chimed in. “And I think I did alright, despite your constant admonishments for my ‘lack of combat skills.’”

“I seem to recall someone saying ‘you don’t need combat skills if you’ve got two shotguns.’” Lilith retorted.

“It definitely helps.” Mary smirked. 

“I should’ve used two shotguns.” Ava mused from beside Beatrice. “I really think I could’ve pulled off the look.”

“No way.” Mary shook her head. 

“The halo bearer is destined to wield the Divinium sword.” Beatrice whispered idly.

“I know.” Ava crossed her arms. “But it’s not as cool nor as sexy as two shotguns.” 

“Agreed.” Mary noted. 

“I also agree.” Camila laughed. “Although other guns are, perhaps, cooler.” 

“Man, you really don’t expect a bunch of nuns to have such strong opinions about which  _ guns  _ are cooler, but here we are.” Ava chuckled. 

“Honey, surely you’ve realised that we are far from your traditional nuns.” Mary refilled everyone’s wine glass as she spoke. 

“I have, but sometimes I think about it anew, and laugh again.” 

“There definitely is a certain… Absurdity with -” 

Lilith didn’t finish her sentence, since she was interrupted by a rustling in the nearby trees. Then, the snap of a branch, and the very distinct sound of footsteps. After an interminable moment, a woman stepped out from beneath the branches. 

“Mary.” She said, with an expression halfway between awesome admiration and bittersweet realisation. “I can’t believe you’re really here.” 

“I’ve been looking for you!” Mary stood in an instant. “Shannon.”


End file.
